The Adventures of an Expat Life

What types of thoughts or emotions come to your mind when the term “expat” is brought up…  experiencing adventure; enjoying travel; viewing global diversity up close and personal? Or perhaps you struggle to have any thought or emotion about the topic at all. It just isn’t currently relevant in your life right now.  But trust me when I say, that if you have experienced the “expat” life for any length of time you are bound to be filled with all sorts of images and memories that define this particular word for you and your family.

The expat life is a world filled with just that — “the world.”  When you take your suitcase in hand and step off that airplane into another country ready to begin this new adventure, you have officially stepped out of the comfort zone of your own culture and friends and have plunged head long into a location where you will be constantly learning; always humbled and without a doubt you will never be totally the same again.  Life will be filled, if you let it, with new ways of doing things, as well as, the enjoyment of experiencing another culture first hand.  The sights, the sounds and the smells of another country can be riveting for the expat.  

However, with all the excitement that comes with living and working in another culture other than your own, there are also some emotions that fall below the surface that sometimes can be very hard to sift through during one’s stay overseas.  Over our 11 years of living abroad and working & ministering to the international community in our city, we have seen time and time again how feelings of loneliness creep over and invade one’s heart and life.  People who are willing to leave home and country often experience feelings such as: displacement vs. the possible stable life their friends might be experiencing; uncomfortable or unknown settings vs. the familiarity of home; loneliness vs. the sense of belonging.  

From our experience however, of all the myriad of adjustments expats deal with, loneliness is the #1 issue they wrestle with as they try and assimilate into their new “home.”  Each year we watch people come from all over the world to our city and we watch as they walk through the struggle of missing

family and friends.  We pray with them, pray for them and try & walk beside them (all the while, drinking lots of coffee over our conversations together).  But the greatest blessing is seeing over time their spiritual walk mature and deepen as they begin to trust in God more and more.  You see, if all we know is a “comfort zone” where we can navigate through life quite easily and successfully without God, then it becomes quite normal to think that we can do life without Him entirely.  Yet, God from the beginning of time has called his creation to live a life dependent on Him and Him alone. It has been a joy and a privilege to watch the faith of these expat’s deepen as God has taken them out of their comfort zones and placed them in situations where they have the choice to either look up and depend on Him OR continue on living an independent life, struggling to make it on their own.  When they choose to let go and let God show His faithfulness in all its glory to them… well, that is beauty. 

Is it easy to walk this “expat” life?  No.  Are their times of loneliness?  Absolutely.  Personally, even after eleven years of living abroad ourselves bouts of loneliness overcome us about once a week! =) Yet, God has not called us to an easy life, but a life dependent on Him - a life of faith in the one true God.  So, if someone asked me about the term “expat” and what it meant, I would say it was definitely a life of adventure.  But my friend, the adventure is not ultimately found in the discovery of a new culture, the adventure lies instead on the profound discovery of a faithful God, who makes all of a dependent life an adventure! 

...and yes, that is our kids on the cliff. Now you know why I am premature grey. They love adventure too! =)

The Mysterious Fifth Season

Don’t you enjoy the changing of the seasons?  I know that we have in the past and this year is no different.  Where we were raised in the United States, there were four distinct seasons and depending on the month, one knew just about what to expect (i.e., what flowers would be in bloom, what possible weather might be on the horizon for that month, etc).  They were each beautiful in their own way and we would so enjoy preparing for the next yet to come.  It has been the same here in the south of France and we have enjoyed celebrating each new season. 

Yet over the years of living here, I have begun to realize that there is a potential mysterious “fifth” season that is not officially listed and seems to be a moving target — invading people’s lives when they least expect it.  It isn’t very long in duration and one does not know when it might occur, however it gives a powerful punch and is distinct in its own way.  

Its official title in French is the “Canicule” or “heatwave.” Just the mention of this word evokes the beginning of many conversations, whether one be a native, a long-time expat, or a vacationing tourist.  Anyway you say it, the result is the same —  heads nodding in agreement and empathy over the veracity of this temperature swing. 

In order to find relief from the sweltering heat, one has four options:  run to the mountains; run to the beach; run to the mall or workplace where there is air conditioning OR remain at home in a lockdown situation.  (For us, option four remains the most viable option. =)

In order to keep the house cool throughout the day, all the windows in the house are opened fairly early in the morning and then completely shut down by 9-10am.  In France, all the homes have “volets” that are either wooden shutters that open outward or these volets are made of aluminum and roll-up into a fitted track in the window itself.  We have come to love this system of privacy, because when the volets are closed for the evening one can sleep like a baby until morning with absolutely no light being able to penetrate through!  So it is that during these weeks of the mysterious 5th season, people live most of their days in darkness, not venturing out until after the heat of the day has subsided.  

Last year, some of our friends who were moving generously gave us their portable air conditioning unit.  John fitted it into our living room window and now we have the extreme joy of being able to turn this on periodically throughout the day for short bursts of relief. 

Over these past years, I have been sharing what living in France has looked like for our family.  The “canicule" is just another tidbit of summer life here and how people find relief.  So for right now, as we are currently experiencing an “early” 5th season, you will probably find us working in our dark house with the lights on, even the though the sun is brightly shining outside, enjoying short shots of air-conditioned air and looking forward to the next season yet to come!   

Beauty Found in the Texture

Springtime.  It's just one word, yet many thoughts are brought to one's mind when they hear it.

Springtime in the south of France is one of the loveliest times of the year.  Flowers are blooming, trees are budding and everything is green.  Because this is a semi-arid area, the summer months bring less of the color green and more of the earthy tones with splashes of color here and there. But for right now, green is on display for all to see.  

On my daily walks, I have been struck by not only the new budding plants and weeds, but also by the textures that they display in our world.  With the beautiful green weeds growing right alongside the wild roses or the quintessential red poppies of the South, one needs to stop and just look at the beauty that is found in the “texture” of the picture.  

This image of texture in nature, causes me to linger on the correlation of texture that we find in our ministry to the international community here in the region.  People from all over the world come to our city and it is quite an interesting and vibrate tapestry to view.  Just sitting on our city tram and observing people, one can take in a myriad of cultures, languages and ethnic differences.  Much can be learned about a culture by just sitting, listening and watching!  

But for me, as much as I enjoy seeing the “texture” that is displayed by the people around me as I walk into the city center, nothing beats seeing the beauty showcased in the depth of “texture” as I walk through the doors of our church.  That is beauty, my friend.  Not because we have all the elements that make for grandeur or elegance in our facility.  No, the beauty comes from those who walk through the doors with us.  People from every tribe, nation and language, worshipping the Lord together.  Unity in diversity…  Beauty found in texture… 

I have often described our ministry to others as a small glimpse of heaven.  To me, it is a vivid image of the scene set in Revelation 7 where those who know Christ as their Savior will be found worshipping at His feet and around His throne - A myriad of people from every tribe, nation and tongue.  What a humbling honor and extreme privilege to be able to catch a glimpse, if only just a dimly lit glimpse, of what God will see before Him on that day… beauty found in the “texture!”

Photo credit: Tiara Alexandra Coules

Leaving the Plastic Forks at Home...

There are many things that one learns when they live in another culture other than their own.  And to be very honest, life can seem to involve one humbling situation after another.  For John and I though, we have learned to laugh at ourselves throughout our time here.  And frankly, there are months when we seem to be laughing a lot!  Memories of last summer and our first experience with a community dinner here in southern France brings us much laughter and a whole lot of learning.   

It all began when the street on which we live decided to have a neighborhood picnic together.  We were all in!  You see, we were from the Midwest in the US… we knew how to do picnics!  So, we sent in our RSVP and baked some “pain de courgette” (zucchini bread) to take with us to share.  We knew that the organizers of the party were catering a Paëlla for the meal and we were excited to be able to experience yet another portion of the culture here in the south of France.  Finally, on the appointed day we gathered our paper plates, plasticware and baked bread and walked over to the party.  

All was going fabulous as we were able to meet our neighbors on a more cordial level than the normal over-the-fence nod or a possible quick “bonjour” as we would walk our dog.  We were able to laugh and talk with them as friends and begin to develop a deeper bond with these wonderful people.  

However, my stomach began to become unsettled as we sat down at the community table in preparation for the meal to begin.  The Paëlla had arrived and everyone began pulling out of their bags their regular plates (not paper ones!), silverware and most had brought an elegant jackknife, as well.  For John and I, being the Midwesterners that we are, we proceeded to place with less confidence our disposable wares on the table and watch those around us.  When our turn came, we filled our plates up with the best smelling food ever!  Loads of mussels and shrimp  were placed on a heaping bed of rice. We were very excited to begin, but little did we know that the next lesson was about to start…

As we began eating, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, the man sitting next to John leaned over and questioned what we were doing.  “No,” he said.  “That’s not how you eat it.  Here let me help you.”  Then he proceeded to take his elegant jackknife (a Laguiole knife, made in southern France) and show us how we needed to shell our shrimp … and it couldn’t be done with a plastic fork!  We broke out laughing and I think that helped to put everyone else at the table at ease, as well.  We laughed at our “faux pas” then and still continue to smile at all the “opportunities” that we have had to learn about another culture.  More than ever we are so thankful for the patient people that the Lord has placed around us and hopefully we will be able to show to them a clear representation of our heavenly Father.  

But… you can bet your bottom dollar that when the next “picnic” rolls around … the plasticware will be left at home! =)

Pétanque Boules

Celebrating Advent with Dirty Windowpanes...

Christmas is such a wonderful time of year…!  No matter what continent you live on, there are always thrilling Christmas festivities to be found in every culture around the world.  Here in France, the local Christmas markets are a wonder to behold.  Each year the decorations and the vendors are a little different, helping to entice people to come and to linger.  At the market, there are a myriad of possible gifts to purchase, roasted chestnuts to eat and chocolate samples to try.  It makes for a really magical evening!

But as I think about Christmas this year, my mind isn't always focused on the events of the season that are coming ever so quickly.  Instead, I am finding myself at times going back to the end of November when our church began celebrating the season of Advent.  Each week now during our services, we are reading passages of Scripture to remind us of Christ's Coming.  And as my thoughts continue, I find myself imagining that I am like a child at Christmas time, only instead of sitting in front of the tree laden with gifts waiting to open that special surprise, I am in front of a frosty windowpane looking outside, anticipating my Savior’s soon arrival.  

It’s true that mothers can sometimes be frustrated with the smudgy fingerprints that their kids often put onto their clean windowpanes.  But what if we were like those children as we wait for our Lord?  What if we were so excited about His return that we remained in front of the window gazing intently at the skies, so enthralled in the confidence of His coming that we pressed our faces to the window in anticipation?  

Christmas 2015... As I am thinking of Christmas and all the festivities that come with the season, my heart and my mind seem to be stopping for a moment and reflecting on what type of person I truly want to be.  I want so much to be like that faith-filled child with my hands and nose pressed against the window - waiting and watching … Dirty windowpanes or not!  

Come join me ... Let's make a mess of those windows as we anticipate that wonderful day!  =)

Joyeux Noël! 

May we walk well...

Confession:  I am not a runner.  The older I get, the more I am OK with this fact.  I often will think to myself as I watch someone else running past,  “Wow.  How easy they make it look.”  However, slowing the pace down just a bit and enjoying a good walk is something that you will often find John, Tzatziki and myself doing throughout our week.  Walking is a favorite pastime here in France.  There is the daily leisurely walk for one’s dog; or the stroll to the local market to pick up daily food supplies; or even every now and again a “speed walker” can be seen trying to bring up their heart rate for maximum physical advantage. 

But as my thoughts settle on all of the walking that consumes my daily life right now, I am finding my attention turning over and over again to the spiritual encouragement found in the Scriptures about the topic.  As I mull over various passages, I have been highlighting those that have stood out to me. And over time, I have turned these verses into a prayer for both my family and for those who are my family ‘in Christ.’ I thought that I would take the opportunity to share some of my thoughts will you in order to possibly encourage you in your own prayer life or perhaps as you are out walking in your own daily life, you will think of us and pray for our ministry here in France.

    Heavenly Father, the Apostle John writes, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth”. (3 John 4)   Lord, may they walk in Your truth.  But may they not only be found walking in Your truth, but may they continually walk in the freedom that Your truth provides, not enslaved by all the baggage that so easily weighs us down, because it is “for freedom that Christ has set us free.” (Galatians 5:1)  May Your truth pervade every fiber of their lives and lead them …

    And as they walk, Lord, may they not only live by the Spirit, but may they also choose to walk by the Spirit, so that they will not gratify the desires of their own flesh.  (Galatians 5:16, 25) The world speaks so loudly as to what “truth” is, but may your Spirit guide them as they continue. 

    I know one day, Lord, our walking here on earth will be done and I ask that my loved ones and I will be able to continue to walk well, while we are here.  Please, Heavenly Father, go before us, go behind us, remain at our sides, undergird us with Your strong right hand and sing sweet songs of deliverance over us until we are together with You in Glory. 

    Amen.

... From the cheering section!

Once upon a time, not too far ago in the past, the Lord gave to John and I one of the cutest baby girls to hold, to nurture and to raise … and we named her “Tiara.”  

She came into our lives with vigor and a love for life.  It seemed as if there was not an adventure that was too high or out of reach for this little girl.  At the age of 9, she was climbing the tallest pine tree around, bringing quite a lot of consternation to the crows that were there nesting.  They just couldn’t quite understand why a little girl was invading their space!  But I think they began to realize they needed to get use to it, because this girl named Tiara was going to continue to reach for new heights every day of her life.  And she has…

From trying her hardest to outplay the French girls on the city volleyball team 

here in France to trying to out-maneuver the guys on the ultimate frisbee field at university, Tiara continued to always reach forward in the area of sports.  But more than her love for sports of all kinds, Tiara continues to press ever forward to knowing her God better and serving Him more completely.  And it’s because of this pursuit … that those around her, including her family, are continually encouraged to do the same. 

This past May, that girl named Tiara - no longer the pigtailed girl of 9 - walked across her university stage to receive her diploma, with honors.  There was no hooting or hollering from her family - just the quiet sense of assurance that goes into knowing that it was not John or I who got her this far.  We had the extreme privilege and honor of watching her grow and stretch ever-forward but in the end, we knew, it was her heavenly Father who carried her all these years.  So as John and I reflect on this past graduation celebration, our hearts burst with pride at all that our daughter has accomplished and we are so excited to see what lies in her future … But two things we remain confident of:  the road ahead will continue to be filled with exciting adventures for her to experience and secondly, that this young woman named Tiara will always have her Heavenly Father leading the way forward, going behind her, remaining at her sides, undergirding her with His strong right hand and hovering above her singing sweet songs of deliverance for her to revel in.  John and I just have the extreme privilege and honor of cheering her on along the way …

You go, baby… we are so proud of you. =)